Is Josh Groban Mormon yet?

last last last last last atlast it is last, last blast to write my last last one.
The best sloppy joe movie has to be It takes two. I love twin movies, I think Harry Potter and star trek would have sold even more billions if every actor had a twin on stage. I have a friend who told me that the testing center does not have any rules on eating and taking test, SO this finals week I will concoct a indian fiest with nothing but mustard and curry, I will bring it into the testing center and let all sniff and test until their nostrils hurt. However, there has to be foods out there which enhances your testing performance.
Dear liz, i am american.
Registering is not american, I hate it. I was so mad come midnight Sunday night. Of course floral design was full, more people are on Brother Botts waiting list than Oprahs Christmas showcase.
I've been to China town in California, and in New York; what is China town like in China?
I need one of my parents to work at BYU next year so I can get the classes I want. Conference was good, I'm still wondering why that speaker didn't say amen at the end of his prayer. I also just realized that the world is going to pay more for my plasma than the cannon center will pay me for washing their nasty freshman eating dishes, not ethical!

Life is good, Life cereal, Life, discovery channels newest series, and also Life the board game. I'm excited that our last month of school is coming up, I'm actually going to take my first spring term class, the dreaded American Heritage. I don't do well in history classes, I am bound to repeat it because I hate learning about it. I have put this class off way to long, however I am going to face my fears, and according to my knowledge I have taken the easiest way out, it consists of the three S's. Summer term, Salt Lake Center, and Sister Sargeant.
This blog feels like my missionary journal, which ended up being an opportunity to vent. And vent I will! Kissing at the doorstep should be a privilege not a right... that is all for now.
Moving on, this weekend is going to bring about much happiness. My hard of hearing companion who spent 400 dollars on Cd's, who also owned a single tie during his 2 year sojourn (which consisted of tiny flies) will be coming to visit. Petey wants to go to lagoon, watch every Star War movie, listen to weird Al and try to get a date with my sister. I can't wait to see what happens.
How about that spring break, I don't know about my friends but I spent most of mine at school. Group projects have been very entertaining, I like BYU because in most cases you will be in a group that actually cares about their grade, and they don't sit around and stare at you while you do all the work. Actually the roles have switched, I feel inadequate to add my two cents while my group works away.
I'm sick of blogging. Good bye

RIP...or not...

Last Saturday I went home for a usual laundry pit stop, I thought I'd clean my car while waiting for my whites, so I used the vacuum in my garage to start vacuuming my car. While vacuuming my car, I couldn't help but notice a mid-sized cardboard box collecting dust next to a tool box. I dropped the vacuum piece and walked toward it as if I could hear the jumangi heart beat... after ripping the top open, this box became so much more valuable, no longer was it an ordinary brown box, it was my youth- wrapped tightly and placed gently into its empty mass. The box was bursting at its seams with firecrackers, bottle rockets, roman candles and piccolo petes. I stopped everything I was doing to phone my neighborhood friend about the hidden stash of Wyoming's finest. Before I could even hang up the phone, Ryan was over at my house. We grabbed the lighter and headed outside to find a clearing to light all of our fireworks, and quickly became disappointed because our culdesac was lined with cars practically bumper to bumper. We journeyed to my back gate ,which led to the church parking lot, and found the perfect opening that was calling us over to light the fireworks on its surface. On our way over we catch my sister sneaking out of this car with her sketchy boyfriend who wouldn't be caught dead in my house, we placed the firework chain behind his mazda, quickly lit the fuse, and ran behind the fence to watch the magic happen.
As we were peaking through the fence laughing, I realized that my sister's boyfriend's car wasn't the only car parked in the church parking lot, I took a quick scan and counted a good 30 cars before the deafening popping began. Time started to slow down, seconds turned into minutes as my mind processed what we actually did. A full parking lot on a Saturday either meant a baptism or a funeral! I glanced over to the three foot chain and realized that there was still hundreds of crackers awaiting their turn to explode. The next hour was filled with mayhem. People started flooding out of the church to silence whatever was happening, from the look on their faced you would have thought they were witnessing a drive by shooting. I wished the exploding could stop because, this Saturday was sister Cole's funeral. With two more feet of firecrackers, a lighter in my hand, and everyone from my Home teachers to my Stake President glaring at me, I wished I could be in that casket.
The night concluded with us saying sorry to many ward members, convincing others not to call the cops, and sweeping the firecrackers residue into a dust pan.
Note to self, the next time I find illegal fireworks in my garage, wait until it is dark to light them, light them in a location besides the backyard of the neighborhood look out, and make sure a funeral isn't going on at the church.

22 22 22 two to, two too tu tu

Happy birthday dear gregory, jordan, heidi, and amyyeeeeeeeeeeee...(in that order) happy birthday to you!!! Every time our family goes to spaghetti factory for our birthday dinner, the manager thinks we are all just on double dates bumming a free dessert. This year I actually thought that I would do something nice for my three same aged tag alongs, so I got them all BYU t-shirts. Something to remember me by, they haven't talked to me much ever since it happened, "it" meaning being accepted to BYU. These BYU t-shirts are going to soften their hearts, and one day, maybe one day, they will come visit their brother out here in happy town.
Is Leonardo Decaprio really special? I'm sitting here watching Whats Eating Gilbert Grape, and I can't remember...
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHSDLKJFfffffiuiliiiiiiesnnnnnnndddddddddding dang! those are the very words I screamed after taking the grammar test the second time, and scoring even lower than my last score. It is set and stone, I will never make six figures.
I got over it really fast though, wrapped myself in a huge cheetah snuggie (best present ever might I add) and let the sleep I lost over the vernal equinox catch up with me.
Another question, is American Heritage really that hard or is it all mental? I'm thinking it's like your brother going to slug you in the arm and you say ow before he even makes contact.
I really need closure, please anyone help.



this world is a dirty dirty place. The sex jokes must end!! I just had to say that, good night.

half way there

I have this bad habit of counting time, especially around half way marks. Half way done with the semester, half way done in the skullery, half way through mcomm, half way there to Provo. . . It is not a healthy habit. This week was good, the first and second half! I found my origonal apartment key-now I can get rid of the copy my dads "friend" made. I went out with a Hinckley Hottie and saw the movie Lovley Bones. Which was way creepy and makes you want to watch every child molester when they get their milestone hung around their neck.
I have also been watching Arrested Development, I don't know how the director managed to make a movie that perfectly resembles my family. Sometimes I feel like Michael here at BYU trying to keep my family from spending their money, and my brother to break up from Lucille... Its hilarious and I wished it lasted longer than 3 seasons, my family is going stronger than three seasons why not this show!
On Sunday I rushed to the conference center to help interpret Elder Rasband's talk into ASL. The church is fashioned after Hogwarts, it has hundreds of rooms, leading to hundreds of unheard of rooms. One of the rooms is no longer a mystery though, I got to interpret in the conference studio. It was big, had lots of cameras and a big blue screen behind the interpreter. I was shaking as I finger spelled every name of Elder Rasband's callings, children, and wife's name. Plus, my former ASL teacher was watching my every move. In the end it turned out very well, and I will be signing on TV for the world once again during the next general conference in April.

The door approach

My mom thinks that bullet bikes are dangerous; however, she has no idea how dangerous night classes are. Almost every time I walk home, I get hit by nearly three cars crossing the cross walks! I'm at a pivot in my life where I have to decide if my life is more important than my education.
Throughout the day, hundreds of students huddle through doors. Either on their way to biology, to the bathroom, or to work, a door must be opened and closed. It is interesting to note the different way people approach these doors. Many techniques come to mind; first, the slither approach. Feeling like James Bond, a person can time the swing of the door to just barely slither on through. Second, there is the gentlemen approach, where a Christain man will take time out of his busy day to stand outside and hold the door open. The question is, is how long do you actually hold the door? What is the lady limit? How many girls do you let in before you let yourself in and shut it? Opposite to the gentlemen approach, there is the every man for himself approach. This approach includes a man walking through a door, and choosing not to look behind him. That way, he is not accountable for the females left on the other side of the door. The most strange door approach, is the role swap. A girl decides to take the reign in her own hands and opens the door for a man! Its hard walking through those kinds of doors. As your education continues at BYU I hope that many doors are left open to you.

Happy Chinese New Year

It's that time of year again; I'm not talking about the Olympics, I am talking about the Chinese new year! My oriental friend invited me for a feast at an authentic Chinese restaurant. I replaced my tarnished fork with a pair of chopsticks, pounded down some fish, fried egg soup, and successfully slurped down a raw oyster with out the American buffers;i.e: butter and salt. As for the rest, I actually don't have any idea what it was I partook in. After eating the healthiest meal of my life, I graced 17 Chinese people by singing "Holla back Girl" on karaoke.
So, recently everyone has been using the word, "swagger" and honestly, I don't think anyone but Tupac knows what that means.
Another Sunday moment coming right at you! This Sunday we were informed that the Young Ambassadors from BYU were a day away from opening China to Mormon missionaries . . . once again I did not say amen.
Omh, I bombed that grammar test! I will never be President of BYUSA or a mission president, or a CEO or a McDonald worker, and cross out my chances of ruling the country!
On a lighter note, I called one of my recent converts to learn that she has been made President of the Apostolic Lutheran Church, all the best wishes Terry!
I'm excited for Tuesdays devotional; I am fully expecting the Lords Prayer to start and finish the devotional.

take one down pass it around....

There I was, standing in the line at Chevron regreting every ounce of this assignment. Of course I waited until the last day (and hour) to complete this assignment. I stood in line, origionally my intentions was to buy some gum, get enough gas in my tank to take me to Provo. Out of no where this little bird who looked just like Shayne Clarke appeared on my shoulder and reminded me to buy something a little extra to pass out as gift. The cashier was scanning all my munches like there was no tomorrow, before I could let the moment slip by I threw the first thing I saw into my stash... a statue of liberty liter. Great, I thought, I bet this cashier works in my ward and thinks I smoke; over night the news will fly through a complicated network of people and my mom will be packing my bags for me in the morning. Instead of thanking the cashier, and taking a last glance at the girl magazines, I turned to the lady behind me, stuck out my hand and said, here, happy belated valentines day! Why I said that I do not know, she was clearly double my age andf had her two kids standing next to her; they looked at me like I was going to sign their next child supporting checks. The lady actually loved her gift! then again she was wearing a black Nine Inch Nails sweatshirt, had everything but her eyeballs peirced. This assignment went from awkward, to warm feelings in my heart for helping a smoker in need. Thanks MComm, she may never understand what, and why and who I am, but this assignment might have affected generations to come.

books are for crooks

I is scarred four this grammer test, Us friends had have been studying foura long time's. I and other people dont feel comfortible using specific grammatical rules: such as (using commas: when to we's capitolize?". %50 would not make me and my feelings that I feel-good. O'whale, we shall sea what happins).
My birthday came early this year, I got a laptop for school! I've basically been amish these past few semesters, using the libraries computers. You know, the ones with the greasy keyboards originating from the student who last sat there (who I highly believe picked their nose and whipped it on each letter).
I was peer pressured into renting Halloween this weekend, all I have to say is if it is rated R in 1973, it is still rated R.
I am attempting to grow out a shag, my first one! I have entered the "wing" phase, I sing Kelly Clarkson's "I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly" song, everytime I flip the wings over my ears.
I'm happy to say my moms and my relationship have sky rocketed thanks to a new I-phone application called "Words with Friends." Basically its scrabble online; while my mom waits for me to think up a word, she joins an additional online game with a complete stranger and uses the chat icon to talk trash, I love her.
Do you ever clear your throat and then someone near you clears their throat quickly after? I never know if they are mocking me or if they had flem lodged in their esophogaus at the same time?? I will never know!

classless

While watching the BYU vs Utah game I had a grand epiphany. Put your symbolism cap on, and walk with me as I explain a strange phenomena that occurs within our body every waking day. Blood... takes up 5-6 pints of our bodies; when blood is protected inside the body it takes on a blueish color. However, when blood is contaminated it turns red. This is a very important concept, that I felt inclined to share. Go cougars.

I am a proud owner of a license that reads "D" for donor. I don't mind donating my organs and blood, I just wish I could just choose who the receptor would be. Selective donating would be the new term, and millions of anxious 15 year olds will dream of the day when they receive their own copy of an SD drivers license.

Why does my name appear as "Korean" when I text it?

During freshman year, I would shy away from the opportunity in attending my freshman ward. Consequently, the more weekends I spend down here, the more I regret that decision. My Sundays here have been nothing but a treat, literally! Today I had what I like to call, "Monkey in a barrel" sacrament. This event occurs when you reach for the bread and not one, but two pieces of bread are clinging onto each other! Ahhh, the blessings of obedience... Maybe you didn't realize the many technical terms allotted to the sacrament. Let me share another one, at home, I'm what deacons call a "gold digging member." When the bread reaches me, I pause, pull out my glasses, and search among the thousand graneul pieces of bread. This process continues until I find the largest piece of bread that will satisfy my ongoing fast, very rewarding if I do say so myself. Please share some of your own techniques!

Simon would not be pleased

You would think that hot girls did everything hot, well think again. This Sunday this chick got up to sing a hymn, based on her makeup and curly hair I knew this would be a spiritually packed song, and maybe, just maybe, I'd get a personal directed revelation to marry her. All eyes were on her, even the bishop woke up to hear this daughter of God serenade us. The ivories were plucking away, my knee was shacking to the rhythm, we were more than ready to hear, no learn, from her song! Then her mouth opened, lets just say that a flock of pubescent boys would have sounded more appealing. It was bad, I tried to smile and bear the sound, but after the first verse I was ready to bolt for the door. The only thing that was stopping me was the fact that I had to give the closing prayer. Dissonant note after dissonant note echoed throughout the Marb; I prayed for the spirit to come back and everyone concurred with a loud "AMEN!". The only revelation that I received in sacrament meeting was that Simon Cowell would not be pleased.

Are these sugar free?

On Friday I went to Cafe Rio for lunch, after a healthy pork burrito I went to grab a handful of the complimentary mints. Suffering from many past cavities, I decided to approach the mints with a safer outlook; I got one of the workers attention and asked, "Hey, are these sugar free?" I guess she misunderstood me over the "free meal" chant, because she responded, "aw, sugar? ya sugar, take a handfull!" I didn't call her sugar...

"drip drip drip, goes the water..." Chumbawamba

During lunch me and my roommate pass all of the standard BYU channels to watch the evangelist on channel 20, the worst part is passing the BYU devotionals to get to it.

My parents used to let me listen to Lady Gaga, then my dad found urban dictionary on the internet and said I couldn't listen to her music anymore, RIP Gaga.

A Moose broke our toilet this weekend, let me explain....Sunday morning I woke up for another eventful Sabbath, when water started seeping up my socks. Judging between the newly formed stalactites on the ceiling, I realized there must have been a problem with our upstairs neighbors. Three hours later at church, we were asked to pray for our fellow ward member named "Moose" who slipped, hit the toilet, and not only broke a bone, but also broke the toilet in the process. I just hope that the water dripping on me was clean.

The hardest task man has ever faced is making a shot into a garbage can. Tearing up a piece of paper, wading it up, and throwing it into a waste basket three feet in front of you is nearly impossible! if you are thinking "no its not" I dare you to try on the nearest can near you. I'm not there, but I already know you missed. The misery does not end there, the follow up after the "air ball" has to be the worst part. Pushing your seat back, picking up the paper (that has now exploded all over the ground) and feeling the cold stares of many disappointed people is a self-esteem wrecker. However, the next time you have garbage to throw, you are confident as ever that you will make it this time.

I don't like tic-tacs, every time I eat them I feel anorexic.

Genesis 1:1

I thought Blogs were for girls, old people and married couples. I am neither. I also feel like I’m starring in that movie that just came out, “Julie and Julia”- who knows maybe I’ll strike gold with my blog, make a book or a movie out of it, I don’t know what it would be rated though.

“Hey are you in Provo? Smile”

“Who is this?”

“Oh…um its (name withheld) from stdev last semester”

“Oh, ha I’m not in Provo actually”

“Okay then, have a happy new year! You can delete my number again now. Smile”

That was just about as exciting as my New Years got.

Then there’s this other girl, let’s call her Lizzy (even though that is her real name). One of my roommates decided that he would go against everything I believe in and set me up on a blind date. Dating isn’t against my rules, blind dates are. She texts me, sends pictures of her and is actually related to a famous Mormon, But she also dated my roommate who has wears shirts that says, “Babe magnet”… so now what. How do you get out of a blind date?

I never believed in “Karma” until college started. Each semester I am assigned to live with a different roommate. Freshman year, my first roommate got braces so he wouldn’t have to go on his mission, my second roommate played Sudoku and the ocarina instead of attending his classes. This year I actually lucked out though, no Zelda instruments or violent sleep talking… however I can hear his personal prayers, should I tell him, or should I answer them?

I saved a person’s life today. I went into the library to use the Video Phone, but there was a deaf kid sitting there, asleep. I wondered if I should throw paper at him or nudge his arm, when all of a sudden the fire alarm starts blaring in my ear, not his because he’s deaf. I wondered if I should wake him up, or let him burn for hogging the Video Phone. I decided to give him one strike, and woke him up to tell him that the fire alarm was blaring and he would have three degree burns all over his body if he didn’t act now. We left, ventured out into safety within minutes, and walked away more appreciative for the sanctity of our lives. Even though it was only a drill, I don’t think the deaf kid knew that, so it still counts as a purple heart.