Simon would not be pleased

You would think that hot girls did everything hot, well think again. This Sunday this chick got up to sing a hymn, based on her makeup and curly hair I knew this would be a spiritually packed song, and maybe, just maybe, I'd get a personal directed revelation to marry her. All eyes were on her, even the bishop woke up to hear this daughter of God serenade us. The ivories were plucking away, my knee was shacking to the rhythm, we were more than ready to hear, no learn, from her song! Then her mouth opened, lets just say that a flock of pubescent boys would have sounded more appealing. It was bad, I tried to smile and bear the sound, but after the first verse I was ready to bolt for the door. The only thing that was stopping me was the fact that I had to give the closing prayer. Dissonant note after dissonant note echoed throughout the Marb; I prayed for the spirit to come back and everyone concurred with a loud "AMEN!". The only revelation that I received in sacrament meeting was that Simon Cowell would not be pleased.